Lipstick, heels and hairspray

Summer is coming. The season of ordinations and guest choirs going on tour. Therefore this seems a good time to write this little nugget of wisdom. It might seem a rather frivolous post at first sight, but bear with me as I hope to share some tips which may help you or someone else sound, look and feel more professional as they lead worship.

Heels

This post about heels is really aimed at anyone who processes up a stone aisle including ordinands,  priests, servers, lay ministers, and choirs too. It may also apply to those who wear flat shoes which have noisy heels. Years ago (in my chorister days) I was told that, if processing in church we should not wear  heels as the clippety clop noises are distracting. (Those who say this are partially right. The clippety clop noises are indeed distracting! If a whole choir is wearing heels in an echoey building the sound can be quite overpowering!). However this does not mean that those leading worship cannot wear heels or that we are reduced to wearing shoes that look ugly on special occasions.  Heels can be really useful for a number of reasons. e.g. If a cope or cassock is an inch too long it is hardly worth sending to the person who does your sewing and heels are an instant fix. Also if a lectern was designed for a six foot giant and you can't find a box to stand on your heels can at least ensure that some of your face is visible. So I bring you good news. It is possible to wear heels in such a way that you are seen but not heard!

This is how:

- Firstly do try this at home (first!). Then try it in an empty church so you don't go flying on your first outing in heels and end up in the lap of the Lord Lieutenant at the next civic service you have to lead! Also please do not sue me if this all goes horribly wrong. You wear heels in an old church at your own risk. (and nine inches is definitely too high! I generally go for one or two inches for greatest success.)

- Secondly find some lovely (black!) heels which aren't too horrendously uncomfortable (especially if you have to process a long way or stand for a long time. I would avoid using wedges as I simply can't do this in wedges (you may be cleverer than me though).

- Thirdly (and this is the trick!) practice walking with the heels, but instead of putting your weight equally on the foot throw your weight slightly forward so it is actually resting on the ball of the foot. (It is rather like walking on tiptoe, yet actually your heels do rest on the floor, only they are placed down very gently). When you first start practising you may wish to begin by walking on tiptoe but then gradually get yourself used to placing the rest of the foot down silently. After a while you will then be able to silently glide up the aisle wearing some shoes that are as wonderful as your other robes and your processions will both look and sound perfect.

- Fourthly. This is rather a post-script and may not apply to your church. If you are in a church with a particularly old and uneven stone floor do not step on the cracks in the pavement! Your heels may get stuck (and I have had that happen to a bridesmaid) but actually even if you aren't wearing heels you may trip on the join in the two paving stones and, once again, land in the lap of a VIP (or, worse still, end up in casualty). This can happen even if you are wearing flat shoes. Whilst doing weddings in Winchester I discovered that actually those story books who told you when you were very small that if you stepped on the cracks a bear would come around the corner and eat you were doing you a great service in prevention of trip hazards years and years later. It is much less likely that you will trip if you aren't treading on the cracks.

Lipstick

This brings me to lipstick. Some people may consider this to be an equally frivolous post as wearing lipstick is hardly compulsory. Some ministers (and congregation members too) have been wary of using lipstick because it does not stay put and can come off on the chalice at communion, on the purificator (wiping cloth) or on robes.  If the lipstick is ordinary lipstick this is true, and it can drive those people who do your washing nuts! Do spare a thought for your poor laundry team. It can be very hard to get rid of  the residue. However once again I bring good news! Some clever souls at a number of makeup companies have invented Super-stay lipstick that lasts many, (sometimes even 24) hours without coming off. This is wonderful stuff. I use it all the time. I used to get cracked lips but find that this type of lipstick somehow or other seals the skin of my lips so they no longer crack, and it never comes off on the chalice, robes or anything else. Highlighting the lips can also make it easier for some people to hear what you are saying when you are reading or preaching (as some people do actually use a bit of lipreading without realising it). Some of these lipsticks come in two parts with a clear topcoat but I never use this bit as the topcoat does tend to come off. I just use the base.

Hairspray

I hardly ever use hairspray normally. I am particularly wary of it when I am leading a service involving candles. If it is an Easter Vigil or Advent Procession tidy your hair well away from any naked flames and leave the hair unsprayed. (Also make sure you know where the fire blankets are).  However the place where hairspray really comes into its own is when leading worship outdoors. You can have beautifully combed and neat hair inside the church and then when you leave the building it suddenly turns into a haystack, because, of course, outside is windy  and the outside  of (usually tall) church buildings is doubly windy. If you make sure your hair is thoroughly sprayed and in place before you leave the building then your Remembrance service or Palm Sunday procession will look lovely and if you end up in the local paper at least you will be looking your best.

So there we are. Heels, lipstick and hairspray. We don't need them, but no-one should ever say that they can't be used. They are tools like anything else and can make us look and feel more confident and professional whilst leading worship.